


Two Slow Dancers

by ratherstarryeyed



Series: Feels Like Love [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Ghost!sides, M/M, SO, Sanders Sides Spooky Month 2019, You've been warned, actually this entire series of Angst Gone Too Far ends sadly, and have fun with the inevitable sadness from this whole series, anyway though, but with many liberties taken, go read part one if you haven’t already, still entirely too much angst, still in the cannon universe, yeah it’s a sad ending, yeet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-02 01:42:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21153509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ratherstarryeyed/pseuds/ratherstarryeyed
Summary: Why had Roman apologized? He hadn’t needed to.If anyone should have been apologizing, it was Logan. Roman hadn’t been nearly as cruel.Could he have just felt guilty? Was that it?Or… was it the unthinkable? Was Roman genuinely being nice to him?He felt his heart flutter at the thought.How odd.Logan and Roman are completely different and almost never see eye to eye, but what is it that they say about opposites?





	Two Slow Dancers

**Author's Note:**

> obviously, this is part two of my angst that got way out of hand, and the song that shares the name of this fic is still in [this playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6XdbT07No4fDVUkgE9M1Sb?si=Nu22phG9TYaQNsWnu50psw).

“Logan?”

“Roman? What are you doing here? I have work to do.”

“If you’re worried about me taking up too much of your time, I won’t. Promise.”

“Alright.”

“Okay, so, I wanted to apologize.”

“Whatever for?”

“For not listening to you today. You made some— okay, you made a lot of good points. I should have listened to you more, and for that, I am truly sorry.”

“You are?”

“Well, I wouldn’t have said so if I wasn’t, would I?”

“No, I suppose not.”

A long pause.

“If you were able to ignore your pride in order to apologize to me, I should probably do the same. I’m sorry I disregarded everything you said and wrote it off as childish and unrealistic.”

“You are?”

“I am.”

“Oh. Uh, thanks.”

“You’re welcome. It’s the least I can do.”

An even longer pause.

“I have… other things… to do… so. I should probably go.”

Logan didn’t even have time to wish him farewell before he sank from the room.

_Why had he done that? He hadn’t needed to._ If anyone should have been apologizing, it was Logan. Roman hadn’t been nearly as cruel. _Could he have just felt guilty? Was that it?_

_Or… was it the unthinkable? Was Roman genuinely being nice to him?_

He felt his heart flutter at the thought.

_How odd._

❂☾❂

“What are you reading?”

Logan held up the book in response, not taking his eyes off the words.

“_Romeo and Juliet_?”

“Congratulations, you can read,” he replied with a roll of his eyes.

Roman made a vaguely offended noise. “Of course I can—” He gave a huff. “I just didn’t think you’d like that one.”

“On the contrary, I appreciate all of Shakespeare’s works.”

“Even though they,” Roman gestured, conveying something, Logan was sure, “you know?”

He paused. “Are you referring to the fact that _Romeo and Juliet_ is about an insane, whirlwind of a romance?”

“Yes. That. I thought you’d, er, disapprove?”

Logan found himself letting out a small laugh. “Of course it’s illogical, though I prefer to see it in a different light. No matter how unwise a love it was, Romeo and Juliet did love each other. But at every turn, just when happiness seemed within reach, it was denied. Every attempt they made to be together was thwarted. Yet, they still persevered. They did everything they could to achieve what they wanted, all the way up to the bitter end. And they didn’t give up. Not once. As much as it is a story about forbidden love, it’s just as much a story about resilience.”

Roman blinked at him, at a loss for words. “I guess I never thought about it that way. It was always just about love to me,” he finally said. “That’s why I liked it. Romeo and Juliet’s story proved that love was more powerful than hate, and when Thomas was younger, it was exactly what he and I both needed to hear.”

“Interesting.”

“Are you mocking me?” Roman bristled in annoyance.

“No, why would you think so?”

“You said— it didn’t sound like—” he took a breath, composing his thoughts, “did you really think what I said was interesting?”

“I did. I tend to ignore the unrealistic nature of the love story when I read through the play, so I suppose I never considered the impact that particular moral could have had on Thomas.”

Roman brightened, a grin spreading across his face. “Are you saying _I_ taught _you_ something this time?”

“Well, I didn’t use those exact words, but—”

“But that’s what you meant,” Roman finished, triumphant.

“Not what I was going to say.”

“But that’s what you meant,” Roman repeated, nodding.

Logan opened his mouth to argue but ended up giving a sigh instead. “Sure.”

“Glad we could agree, Specs.”

Roman flashed him another smile, followed this time by a wink, before continuing on his way.

Logan found himself unable to concentrate on the play after that, his mind going back to Roman’s smile again and again.

☾❂☾

“Loooogan.”

“What,” Logan said, voice waspish. 

“Wow, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.”

“My bed is pushed up against a wall, Roman. I can only wake up on one side.”

“That’s not— that’s not what that means— you know what? Come with me.”

“Can’t. I have work to do.”

“Right, but when was the last time you ate?”

“That was—” Logan frowned.

“Slept? Drank something?” He amended that when he saw Logan point at the mug on his desk, “Something that wasn’t coffee?”

“If you would let me finish, I would tell you that the last time I—”

“Change of plans, I don’t care about your answer anymore. You’re going to try and convince me that you don’t need a break, and it’s going to work, and that’s not good for anyone.”

“I _don’t_ need a break. I’d only be convincing you of something that is already an established fact.”

“Established for _you_ maybe.”

“…Yes. Is there someone else it should be established for? I’m the one who’s taking care of myself, so I don’t think anyone else needs to know whether or not I need a break.”

“I—” Roman started, blinking in confusion. He shook it off suddenly, continuing, “Wait, no, I was right. You’re trying to convince me you don’t need a break and you’re _wrong._”

Logan crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair. “And? What was your plan, aside from bothering me?”

“Imagination.”

“I wasn’t aware that I could use my own imagination to create a break for myself.”

“No— that isn’t— you’re insufferable, really.”

“What is it you meant then?”

“_The_ Imagination. We go there, and I’ll be able to figure something out. If it’s a deadline you’re worried about, I could… I don’t know, stop time maybe?”

“Is that? Something you can do? Why didn’t I know about this?” 

“I mean I’ve never tried it before, but it could work. Maybe.”

“Not very reassuring.”

“Okay, so stopping time might not be the best idea I’ve ever had. But! I _could_ just lock you in a room until you take a nap.”

“That’s not necessary. I already told you, I don’t need a break. I’m _fi—_” Logan was cut off when he landed unceremoniously in a plush bed, the wind knocked out of him. “I’m fine,” he finished when he was able to sit up and regain his composure. 

“Sure.” Roman sounded wholly unconvinced, standing in the doorway and watching as Logan struggled to climb out of the bed. 

“I _am,_” he insisted, stumbling only a little bit as he made his way to the door. 

“Keep telling yourself that.” With that, Roman closed the door. Logan heard the distinct sound of a lock clicking into place.

Groaning, he tried the doorknob, knowing it would be in vain. “Let me out, Roman.”

“Take a nap.”

“But I have to—”

“Whatever you have to do, you’ll be, like, ten times more productive at it after you’re well-rested.”

He made an excellent point. Logan didn’t know how to argue that. 

“Whoa, was that actually a good argument? Is that why you aren’t saying anything?”

Logan made an annoyed sound that could have potentially passed as an agreement. He heard a loud cheer from the other side of the door a second later. Rolling his eyes at Roman’s excitement, he glanced back at the bed. It did look rather comfortable, he conceded, and it couldn’t hurt to test how nice it felt. Surely he could do that. For science, of course.

He staggered over, sitting down carefully and pulling his legs up onto the mattress. It was comfortable, he found. Very comfortable. He flopped backward. 

As soon as his head hit the pillow, his eyes drifted shut. Not even a moment later, he was fast asleep.

Roman listened at the door, noticing the distinct lack of complaining and then… light snores. He smiled, knowing he’d won this one.

❂☾❂

“Roman?”

“Yeah, it’s me, Lo.”

“How long was I asleep?”

“Only a few hours.”

“Only?” Logan’s voice was groggy as he sat up and rubbed his eyes, squinting. “Did you take my glasses while I was asleep?”

“Uh, yeah. I didn’t want you to crush them. They’re just over there,” he said, motioning to the night table beside the bed. He appeared to have gone slightly red.

“In that case, thank you.”

Roman made an awkward, almost strangled-sounding noise. “Yep. It was no problem.” There was a brief moment of silence as Logan slid his glasses back onto his face before Roman spoke up again, saying, “Do you want to go back now? I can take you.”

“That would be ideal, as long as you don’t mind too much.”

“It’s no problem,” Roman replied, echoing his previous statement as he offered out a hand to Logan. He took it and stood up from the bed. 

“I suppose I should thank you for bringing me here as well,” he said somewhat offhandedly, walking towards the door. “Without you forcing me to take a break, I would have had to sleep in a much less comfortable place.”

“It was no problem.” 

Logan gave Roman an odd look. Why did he keep repeating himself? Surely, being the creative side, he’d be able to think up some other way to respond. “Speaking of that though, why were you so determined to get me to take a break?”

“Oh, nothing. It’s nothing. No reason. Just, uh, didn’t want you to overwork yourself. Like any good friend.” Roman cleared his throat as though embarrassed by his words. “Anyone would have done it.”

“Clearly not, as neither Virgil nor Patton came to my rescue,” Logan said, raising a single skeptical eyebrow.

“Well. They would have, given the chance. It just so happened that I got to you first. Not a big deal.” His tone said otherwise, but Logan wasn’t going to press the matter.

“In any case, you did save me, and I’m grateful for that.”

“Oh.” Roman’s voice appeared to have gone up several octaves.

“Is something wrong, Roman? Are you feeling well? You don’t sound like yourself.”

“Yeah, ’m fine,” Roman muttered, not looking at anything remotely near Logan.

“No, you’re not. What is it?”

“Nothing! I’m doing wonderfully. Perfectly, even.”

“Why are you lying? I’m not going to tell anyone what you say if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“Really, Logan, just because I helped you doesn’t mean you’re obligated to return the favor. And like I said, nothing’s wrong anyway.”

“Is it something I did? Is that why you refuse to tell me?”

“What? No! Why— why would you— what could you have possibly done?”

“You just seem more on edge when you’re around me, that’s all.”

“Oh. Well, there’s no reason for that at all. I can’t imagine why that’s the case.”

Logan was beginning to suspect he should have understood what Roman was hiding by now. He truly was a terrible liar, but for the life of him, Logan couldn’t figure out what it was that he was lying about. It was driving him insane, but he didn’t want to let on that it was. He tried to prove that he didn’t care in the least bit by making his tone as nonchalant as possible when he said, “If you insist.”

The two lapsed into a brief period of silence. It was very brief, actually, because Roman broke it less than thirty seconds after Logan had spoken. “Odin’s eyepatch, do you really not get it? Are you really…? Great Gandalf’s walking stick, you weren’t playing dumb.”

“I was not. Now, would you care to enlighten me?”

“Ah. Yes. Right.” Roman proceeded to fall completely silent. 

“Roman?” Logan slowed his pace, pausing right before the doors that led to the rest of the Imagination, the doors that led back home. “You don’t have to tell me, you know. I’m merely curious, so you choosing not to tell me for whatever reason won’t offend me.”

“No, I _want_ to tell you. It’s just… scary. Is that the right word? Terrifying? Nerve-wracking? Daunting? Petrifying? Frightening?” Roman probably would have continued to list all the synonyms of scary that he knew if Logan hadn’t chosen to interrupt him then.

“You know, I’m sure just ‘scary’ suits this situation fine. But word choice aside, telling someone something you think they’ll react poorly to—which is why you’re putting off telling me your secret, I assume—is a brave thing to do. And if there is one thing I know about you, Roman, it’s that you are the most courageous person I’ve ever had the pleasure to know or know of. Without a doubt.”

“I— oh. Oh.” Roman’s whole face had gone a bright shade of red, and he didn’t appear to be able to form words. _How odd._ “Well then.” He swallowed, cleared his throat. “Well then. I guess I should just… go ahead and tell you.” Roman stopped again, and Logan had to resist the urge to shake him. Why was he so nervous?

“I love you.”

Logan frowned. “I’m aware. I thought we had established that we all cared for each other?”

“No, you’re— for someone so smart, you’re so stupid sometimes, you know that? No, I didn’t mean like that. I meant, like. Not platonically.”

“So you… think of me as a brother? Is that it?” He didn’t want to voice what he hoped was the case. What if he was wrong? “If so, I don’t see why you had to tell me.”

Roman blinked. He looked at Logan. Tilted his head. “Are you serious?”

“Always. Necktie, remember?”

“You— you’re so— I can’t— Merlin’s beard.” Roman shook his head. “Right. Okay. Do you trust me?”

“What? Why?”

“Just… do you trust me?”

Logan took a breath. “I trust you.” It was the truth.

“Good.” A smile ghosted across Roman’s face as he took a step closer to Logan. He leaned closer, painfully slowly. Logan didn’t move. He was terrified that if he so much as breathed wrong, he’d ruin everything. 

Then Roman’s lips were on his, and the rest of the world vanished. Logan couldn’t tell up from down, left from right, his body from Roman’s. Everything blurred together, and time stood still.

Roman pulled back and Logan opened his eyes. He wasn’t sure when he’d closed them, but he supposed he had. He wasn’t sure when he’d stopped breathing either, but he must have done that too because now he couldn’t catch his breath. Logan didn’t say anything for a moment. When he did finally speak, it was only one quiet, “Oh.”

“Oh? What does that mean? Does that mean you understand? That you don’t like me? That you hate me? That you—”

“Shut up,” Logan muttered, yanking Roman towards him by the collar of his shirt and kissing him again.

“Oh,” Roman whispered when they broke apart again.

Logan smiled lightly at his dazzled expression. “Did that answer your question?”

Roman could only nod, stunned into silence.

Logan’s smile grew as he took Roman’s hand. “Good.”

☾❂☾

“Hey Lo?”

“Hm?” Logan twirled him in time with the soft music playing in the background, feeling calmer and more content than he had in weeks.

“How come you’ve never said ‘I love you’ to me?” Roman’s voice sounded so small, so scared, and he looked so fragile as he turned back around and glanced up at Logan.

“Oh,” Logan breathed. “Oh, Roman, it’s not that I don’t care about you. You needn’t worry about that.”

“Then what is it?” Roman moved closer and rested his head on Logan’s shoulder, hoping for the comfort being near his boyfriend brought.

“I have my reasons.” When Roman frowned, still unconvinced, Logan added, “Trust me.”

Roman did trust him, so he didn’t bring it up again. But when Logan started talking to Patton one day, and, without looking up from his book, said, “Patton, do you know whether or not it’s possible for sides to get married?” Roman choked on his tea and nearly spit it across the table. He was also about one gust of wind away from falling out of his chair. When Logan asked Patton that one, simple question, Roman suddenly knew exactly why Logan had never told him that he loved him.

❂☾❂

“Logan?” Patton’s voice is tentative. “Do you have a minute?”

“What is it?” Logan slips his bookmark into his book. Looks up. Patton looks as though he’s been crying. He feels his heart drop. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s Roman.”

His heart stops. He hears his book fall to the floor as he stands up. There’s a buzzing in his ears. “Where is he.” His voice has dropped into a monotone. He can’t afford to show emotion right now. Not if Roman’s in danger.

“This way. But Logan, the thing is—” His voice fades out as Logan shoves past him, into the room he’d been blocking the doorway to. 

And he stops.

And time stops. 

He feels his legs shake. Stops them from shaking, stops himself from collapsing. Straightens his spine. “What happened.” 

“I don’t know,” Patton says, barely above a whisper. “He was just— just— oh, Logan.” He wraps his arms around Logan’s waist, head falling against his back. Logan hears him sobbing into his shirt, but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care about anything. He feels numb.

He should care more, he realizes distantly. He should care more, but he doesn’t. He can’t care. If he cares, then he’ll cease to function. He can’t afford to do that. Especially not now.

So he has to not care. He has to go numb. He has to forget about Roman.

Because Roman’s dead. He’s lying on the floor, and he’s dead. He’s dead, and Logan doesn’t feel anything. He can’t feel anything, as if a part of him died too. The part that smiled, the part that laughed, the part that loved… it’s dead. 

It’s dead, and Roman’s dead. Logan breathes in, breathes out. Accepts it. Moves on.

_Roman’s dead,_ he thinks, and the thought bounces off the walls of his heart. He feels nothing. Nothing at all.

**Author's Note:**

> comments will always be my favorite things :)
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/ratherstareyed) || [tumblr](ratherstarryeyed.tumblr.com) || [tumblr post](https://ratherstarryeyed.tumblr.com/post/188551592017/two-slow-dancers)


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